What the Republicans Think of You, Stupid
I opened a piece of mail today.
DO NOT DESTROY. OFFICIAL DOCUMENT. SECOND NOTICE, it said, on the outside of the envelope.
Oh, jeez, I thought.
2018 CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT CENSUS, it blares across the top. It looks very official, bordering on officious. It is *very clearly* meant to convince the reader that they hold in their hand an Important Document of some Legal Governmental Import. "Enclosed is your official 2018 CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT CENSUS DOCUMENT registered CODE N18PZ055 in your name as a representative of Charlottesville," it says. Also, this was definitely only the FIRST NOTICE.
It is slightly less clear that it is just a piece of fundraising, marketing trash from the Republican National Committee. What it really is, though, is tangible proof that the Republican Party believes its constituents are quite stupid, and that the RNC seeks to exploit that stupidity for financial gain.
Section 1, Question 5: Do you believe the national media has a strong bias against all things Donald Trump and Republican and fails to tell America's voters the real facts about Republican policies, principles, goals, and accomplishments?
Section 2, Question 4: Do you currently trust the federal government bureaucracy to act in the best interest of the citizens of our nation?
Section 3, Question 11: The Democrats' fixation on "climate change" has led to costly regulations that are negatively affecting our nation's economy across-the-board [sic]. Do you think climate change is a major threat to our nation?
Section 3, Question 19: President Trump is committed to reducing crime in America and ending the violence against law enforcement officers. Do you support these efforts?
Truly, how has the RNC managed to put together a coherent national platform without the answers to these pressing questions?
Methodological qualms aside, as that is clearly not a concern, here--all of this would be a merely absurd exercise in Republican self-satisfaction on its own. But then we arrive at SECTION V - CERTIFICATION AND REPLY, wherein lie the demands for checks or credit cards.
1. Can the Republican National Committee count on your help to deliver President Trump's message as we fight to Make America Great Again?
And then it offers suggested donations ranging from $25 to $1000, or more. But just below that:
"I cannot send a donation at that level right now. But I am enclosing $15 to help pay for the cost of processing my Census document."
Ahh, yes. This crucial fucking scantron "Census document" must be processed, and $15 would go some of the way towards defraying the exorbitant cost to the RNC of finding out how many Helens agree that Trump really oughta get to work fixing "our inner cities."
These people hold their own supporters in absolute hateful contempt, stooping only so low as to see what they can abscond with out of their constituents' pockets. Scum and villainy, the lot of them.
