worked. [wurkt]

A Work, in 7 steps.

1. Tweet photo expressing excitement for upcoming football game. The photo should be years old, for some reason.

2. Inform traveling press pool that the Vice President will not be staying at the game long, so traveling press pool must remain in the van outside.

3. Performatively leave the game after players on the field kneel during the National Anthem.

4. Tweet image of statement that was clearly prepared and designed before any players knelt at today’s game. Statement should suggest that the mere presence of the Vice President confers dignity upon an otherwise worthless or shameful event.

5. Get a virtual high-five from the boss, pretend not to notice how he’s making it all about himself, again.

6. Tweet image of self standing respectfully for the National Anthem alongside a soldier.

7. Proceed to California as scheduled for fundraising.

Work complete!